GMAD in 'LOL Worthy Texting Fails'
by PhoenixWarriorFox88
Summary: The GMAD all have phones, and are swapping horrible (but hilarious) texting fails! Beware, and enter at your own risk, for you will be exposed to humour in unhealthy large doses. Rated T for language, themes and overall hilarity! You have been warned.
1. LOL Worthy Texting Fails

**Lantern:** Do you have a cock I could borrow? I keep breaking mine :/

 **Phoenix:** Nope, sorry! :P (You might want to read over that last message.)

 **Lantern:** OMG, clock, clock! I meant clock, I swear! I keep breaking my clock!

 **Lantern:** ...Stop laughing at me, can I just borrow your clock?

 **Phoenix:** My answer still stands.

LWTF

 **Zilla:** It might just be the cocksucker part of me but I really like eating children.

 **Mage:** Bro, what? Since when are you a cannibal? And I didn't know you rolled like that XD

 **Zilla:** *Godzilla *children

 **Mage:** Better, but how do you get cocksucker from Godzilla?

 **Zilla:** I don't even know.

 **Zilla:** That's it, Litwick is never using my phone again.

 **Litwick:** Wait what did I do?! I only just got back from a mission! Zilla?! ZILLA!?

LWTF

 **Delirium:** Leave me the fuck alone! How many times do I have to tell you I don't like you for it to sink into your thick little skull?!

 **3P:** What did I do...? :'(

 **Delirium:** You know what you did! :(

 **3P:** I really don't! D:

 **Delirium:** How much of an imbecile are you Aquaria?

 **3P:** This is 3P...

 **Delirium:** Wait, what? OMG I'm so sorry! Why are you using Aquaria's phone?

 **3P:** I'm not, she's been using MY new phone. She stole it for a week.

 **Delirium:** _ ;

LWTF

 **Midnight:** I just ate Kookie. It was delicious.

 **Night:** So that's where he went. I was looking for him XP

 **Midnight:** Oh ha ha ha, very funny ◔_◔

LWTF

 **Dream:** NOOOOO! GLENN DIED IN THE WALKING DEAD! :( Oh well, at least Daryl is still there. Daryl makes every hint better.

 **Dream:** *everythin

 **Dream:** *everyhting

 **Dream:** *everythi

 **Dream:** *everyhing

 **Dream:** *everythig

 **Dream:** Flicking autocockrocket!

 **Wish:** Are you drunk?

 **Dream:** No! Its judst fermenting auto cockroach!

 **Wish:** You mean autocorrect?

 **Dream:** Autumncockblocker!

 **Dream:** That's it I'm done.

LWTF

 **5:** I'm such a great bother, aren't I?

 **Litwick:** Yes, yes you are.

 **5:** No way! You just admitted I'm a great brother!

 **Litwick:** No, I admitted you were a great BOTHER. :P

 **5:** I hate you. And autocorrect.

LWTF

 **Mal:** Hey Thorn, I have a new sexbot you should come test it out with me!

 **Thorn:** I'll be right there.

 **Mal:** I meant X-box you pervert, how the heck did I even get sexbot?!

 **Thorn:** No one knows. I'll still be there though.

 **Mal:** Cool. Bring SANTACLAUS.

 **Thorn:** ...Wut? I know it's nearly Christmas, but you should really keep a hold on your excitement. You're starting to sound like Lantern.

 **Mal:** I meant snacks, dipshit.

 **Thorn:** Harsh.

LWTF

 **Phoenix:** Hey can you send me a list of your favourite songs?

 **3P:** Sure. Wait just a sex.

 **Phoenix:** With who? Delirium?

 **3P:** ...I hate you. So much.

LWTF

 **Daemon:** What do you think it's like when you die?

 **Delirium:** I'm already dead inside.

 **Daemon:** Your really annoying, Delirium.

 **Delirium:** *You're

 **Daemon:** Stop correcting me! Or else your really gonna be dead.

 **Delirium:** *You're

 **Daemon:** That's it! You're head is gonna be saying farewell to your neck very soon!

 **Delirium:** *Your

LWTF

 **Mal:** I'm hungry!

 **Lantern:** Nice to meet you hungry, I'm Lantern.

 **Mal:** C'mon sis I'm serious!

 **Lantern:** I thought you were hungry?

 **Mal:** You are so infuriating!

 **Lantern:** No, I'm Lantern, remember?

LWTF

 **Litwick:** You were so wasted last night!

 **Zilla:** I was NOT that drunk!

 **Litwick:** Dude, you walked up to a semi-truck and said, "I know your secret...Optimus Prime."

 **Zilla:** So you know his secret too...

 **Litwick:** Go away -_-

LWTF

 **Night:** I want you to check out the rise in belief in the RotG world.

 **Night:** Also make sure the witch knows not to sell any more bear spells in the Brave world.

 **Night:** And see how Rapunzel's doing with ruling the kingdom, especially with Eugene as her husband.

 **Night:** Thoron and I talked, we are officially gonna make you third-in-command next GMAD meeting.

 **Kookie:** You are? Omg thank yooouu! :D

 **Night:** No we're not, I just wanted to make sure you were getting my texts.

 **Kookie:** That was low, even for you.

LWTF

 **Phoenix:** Violet and Kozmotis were fucking together! It was adorable!

 **3P:** WTF? And you watched? That's disturbing.

 **Phoenix:** Frolicking. They were frolicking.

 **3P:** Oh, that's fine then. Although it would have been cool if they'd had little Night Fury babies.

 **Phoenix:** Now who's the disturbing one?

LWTF

 **Thorn:** Cousin, you were SO drunk last night at the party.

 **Lantern:** No I wasn't.

 **Thorn:** Oh yeah? You called a taxi to take you home.

 **Lantern:** So? I don't want to get a ticket for being drunk and driving.

 **Thorn:** The party was at your house.

 **Lantern:** ...

LWTF

 **Dream:** I was drinking cock and it jizzed all over me.

 **Dream:** No! No! Coke and fizzed!

 **Wish:** Lshidmtamsfo

 **Dream:** Do you even know what the means?

 **Wish:** Laughing so hard I dropped my taco and my sombrero fell off.

 **Wish:** BOOM! :D

 **Dream:** BEST. SISTER. EVER. XD

LWTF

 **Night:** In honour of your decapitation, I am going to assassinate you next GMAD meeting.

 **Midnight:** Wait, what?! O_O

 **Night:** Oh, sorry, *dedication *award

 **Midnight:** Thank God. I was actually fearing for my life then! I was almost hyperventilating! I thought you were wishing AND making me dead!

 **Night:** Not yet ;) JK

 **Midnight:** Wait, I'm getting an award? Awesome! (Still not sure if it was worth the heart attack.)

 **Night:** Sorry, I was pwned by autocorrect.

 **Midnight:** No one is immune.

LWTF

 **3P:** Phoenix there's a cockroach waiting outside my bedroom door get rid of it!

 **3P:** Please hurry coz I'm going to cry.

 **3P:** Phoenix?

 **3P:** Phoenix?

 **Phoenix:** Phoenix is dead. You're next. Love, Cockroach.

LWTF

 **Zilla:** Hey Lantern, what's for lunch?

 **Lantern:** I can't decide between Penis Butt and jelly or chicken. Which would you prefer?

 **Zilla:** Given the options I'm opting towards chicken for some reason.

 **Lantern:** Okay cool, coz I think I'm running out of Penis Butt.

 **Lantern:** OMFG PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY! Why the hell didn't you say anything?!

 **Zilla:** I thought you were being serious... And it was really funny~

 **Lantern:** That's it, no lunch for you. I'm done.

 **Zilla:** Oh c'mon Lantern it was just a little fun! Besides, you were the one not checking what you wrote!

 **Zilla:** Lantern? Please answer.


	2. LOL Worthy Texting Fails 2

**Phoenix:** Hey Litwick, still up for helping me with my homicide tonight?

 **Litwick:** HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT A HOMICIDE!

 **Phoenix:** Homecoming party... Fuck autocorrect.

 **Phoenix:** You know we could always murder autocorset anyway :P

 **Litwick:** I'm in.

LWTF

 **3P:** Hey Delirium I have some hot chic and a whip, you should come over.

 **Delirium:** This I need to see.

 **3P:** NO! I meant hot chocolate and whipped cream! My phone is a freaking pedophile!

 **Delirium:** Well that's disappointing.

LWTF

 **Dream:** What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

 **Wish:** *sigh* What?

 **Dream:** Nothing, they just waved. :D

 **Wish:** Oh my God.

 **Dream:** Did you sea what I did there?

 **Wish:** Yes -_-

 **Dream:** Are you shore?

 **Wish:** Just stop.

 **Dream:** Aw, are you getting tide of my jokes? Coz there's moor where they came from!

 **Wish:** I'm blocking this number.

LWTF

 **Lantern:** I love me some boyscouts.

 **Thorn:** I didn't know you were a pedophile. I have to admit I'm impressed. Disturbed, yes, but impressed.

 **Lantern:** O.O That's not what I meant and you know it!

 **Thorn:** Then what did you mean?

 **Lantern:** ...Biscotti

LWTF

 **Erzia:** I found your stash of gay porn.

 **Daemon:** I can explain!

 **Daemon:** It's Delirium's, I swear!

 **Erzia:**...I meant popcorn.

 **Daemon:** Well this is awkward.

 **Daemon:** Uh, wanna watch a movie?

LWTF

 **Zilla:** I just saw Delirium fucking a guy in a janitor's closet.

 **3P:** Haha, stupid autocorrect! XP

 **Zilla:** What d'you mean?

 **3P:** Well that was autocorrect right? Read over your message.

 **Zilla:** No, that's exactly what I meant. I straight up saw your boyfriend fucking a guy in a janitor's closet.

 **3P:** THAT SON OF A BITCH! HE'S DEAD MEAT!

LWTF

 **3P:** Phoenix! Guess what! I killed Delirium! :D

 **Phoenix:** OMFG! I knew you could do it eventually! I'm so proud of you! :')

 **3P:** *kissed

 **3P:** Wait, what? You want me to kill Delirium?! O.o

 **Phoenix:** Uh...um...congratulations?

 **Phoenix:** Save me Mr. Shrug!

 **Phoenix:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

LWTF

 **Lantern:** Hey Night can I abuse my privileges of being a GMAD member when I go to Earth later? There are several things I've always wanted to do.

 **Night:** Sdflxmojfdfsglkrnidf -Lantern- 8764jgfjyrrsj6jffdaq88jogxc -sorry, there's a tunnel- zgjffaj/$'462ckjhhfrd -think we're breaking up- ):8liyfkhtyaik :-$:76vutucc -no signal- o;dwaghrskkutev86'dhjk'syrea

 **Lantern:** Oh, okay, just text me when you get better signal! :)

 **Night:** ...I've employed an idiot. -_-

 **Lantern:** What? I'm not an-

 **Lantern:** Oh. OH! I only just got it! :P

LWTF

 **Zilla:** Hey man, what's up?

 **Litwick:** Nothing much Zilla, just tending to my garden. Why?

 **Zilla:** HA! I fooled you! It's really me, Mage!

 **Litwick:** Why do you have your brother's phone?

 **Zilla:** Just kidding, it really is Zilla.

 **Litwick:** What the hell?

 **Litwick:** What is the point of this Zilla?

 **Zilla:** Wow you're gullible. It actually IS Mage, sheesh.

 **Litwick:** Stop trying to annoy me Mage!

 **Zilla:** You really stink at this, you know?

 **Litwick:** Let me guess, you're really Zilla?

 **Zilla:** Nope, it's Mage! Or is it?

 **Litwick:** ARGH! I AM SO CONFUSED! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

 **Zilla:** ;)

LWTF

 **Thoron:** Hey Night do you want us to cook anything special for the GMAD Christmas party?

 **Night:** Well those poopfarts from last time were delicious, we should have more of those. Oh, and the dick was so juicy! Everyone loved it!

 **Thoron:** ...Not even gonna say anything

 **Night:** FML. Seriously I just wanna die right now. In fact I'm already thinking about several of the most painful ways to kill my phone.

 **Thoron:** Okay, so delicious poopfarts and juicy Christmas dick, got it.

 **Night:** You said you weren't gonna say anything! DX

 **Thoron:** I lied.

 **Thoron:** And I'm a little afraid to ask what else you want.

LWTF

 **Zilla:** You know what are really delicious? Baby black kids. They're so tender and juicy.

 **Mage:** Still a cannibal I see. And a racist one at that. I am ashamed, brother.

 **Zilla:** Oh shut up or I'll give you something to be ashamed about.

 **Mage:** Wow. A cannibal, a racist AND a criminal.

 **Mage:** I must say you're on a roll.

LWTF

 **Delirium:** God, you were so drunk yesterday.

 **Phoenix:** C'mon, I wasn't THAT drunk.

 **Delirium:** You grabbed my parakeet, used a slingshot to shoot it at my hamster and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!"

 **Phoenix:** ...Awesome! XD

 **Delirium:** Do you know what you used for a slingshot?

 **Phoenix:** No, what?

 **Delirium:** MY PET SNAKE YOU FUCKHEAD!

 **Phoenix:** ...AWESOME! XD XD XD

 **Delirium:** ...If you weren't such intelligent conversation you would be dead now.

LWTF

 **Kookie:** Hey, I just made some Kookie. You know how my Kookie are so good? I have a secret ingredient. You wanna know what it is?

 **Ace:** What is it?

 **Kookie:** Vaginal Extract. Don't tell anyone! ;)

 **Ace:** Lol so that's what makes your Kookie so good.

 **Kookie:** What? What was- OMG! Vanilla! Vanilla and Kookie!

 **Kookie:** Kookie

 **Kookie:** Kookie

 **Kookie:** Kookie

 **Kookie:** THAT'S IT, WHO FUCKING MADE C.O.O.K.I.E.S ON MY PHONE A SHORTCUT FOR KOOKIE?!

LWTF

 **3P:** Life sucks.

 **Daemon:** What's up?

 **3P:** I just saw Aquaria masturbating with a breakfast mascot like a normal fangirl, IN MY GARDEN!

 **Daemon:** I don't think normal people let alone fangirls masturbate with Toucan Sam and Coco the Monkey.

 **3P:** *making out *body pillow

 **Daemon:** Not much better, considering who's ON the body pillow.

LWTF

 **5:** Man, my boner is so annoying!

 **5:** I hate it! I really wanna get rid of it in the messiest way possible!

 **5:** I wish I could just squeeze it until it breaks! Why won't you let me Litwick?

 **5:** Litwick?

 **Litwick:** I am officially out of this conversation.

 **5:** Oh god, I just caught that! THIS is why I hate my phone!

LWTF

 **Wish:** What are you and 3P doing?

 **Lantern:** We're watching Attack of Titties. It turns out we both love this show!

 **Wish:** I don't know whether I should be amused or disturbed.

 **Lantern:** We were gonna do a reenactment of all our favourite parts later! You should join us!

 **Wish:** You want me to join you in a reenactment of 'Attack of Titties'? Sorry, but I don't think I will.

 **Lantern:** I meant Attack on Turtles

 **Lantern:** Titans

 **Lantern:** Wish? Hello?

LWTF

 **Mal:** Duuuude, I told you I was okay to drive last night.

 **Thorn:** Imbecile, I drove, you sat in the passenger's seat and steered a plastic plate.

 **Thorn:** I've even changed your name in my contact list to 'Dumbass' in honour of the occasion.

 **Mal:** ...

LWTF

 **Midnight:** Geez, my morning has been so shitty already, and it's not even 8!

 **Phoenix:** What happened?

 **Midnight:** This morning I choked a goat and pissed in my tea.

 **Phoenix:** Pfft, haha, lol! XD

 **Midnight:** LOL NO...I choked on TOAST and SPILLED my tea...fucking autocorrect...this isn't helping my mood!

 **Phoenix:** Aw, I liked the first one better!

 **Midnight:** ...You know, on second thoughts, so do I XD

* * *

 **REVIEWS**

 **Delirium68 - Here is the 'more' of which you speak.**

 **AutumnNightmare - Was your review literally a sound of amusement? Cool.**

 **DarkWhisperKG - Thanks! To both of you! And Dream, you are so right: NO ONE!**

 **Litwick723 - Why thank you. I completely agree.**

 **Animal Lover - Lol, which ones were disturbing? And those favourites of yours were pretty good ones. Don't you mean there can be serious misunderstanding if you _have_ autocorrect?**

 **LanternLover23 - That was what I was striving for! ;D**


	3. LOL Worthy Texting Fails 3

**Dream:** Hey Phoenix, what are you doing?

 **Phoenix:** I was sent on a mission with Lantern. We've ended up in a...well, a BIT of a sticky situation and are currently eloping demon spawn from hell.

 **Dream:** Sorry I asked.

 **Phoenix:** Eliminating, you asshole.

 **Dream:** Sure you are ;)

LWTF

 **Litwick:** Zilla come help me I'm really getting fisted down here!

 **Zilla:** Sorry, but you're on your own.

 **Litwick:** *fucked

 **Zilla:** Oh yeah like that makes it any better.

 **Litwick:** *FRUSTRATED

 **Litwick:** Fucking hell! Can't my penis just stop cockblocking my testicles?!

 **Zilla:** I...don't know whether I should be worried right now.

 **Litwick:** That's it! I'm done with texting! Next time I'm just calling!

LWTF

 **Holo:** Hey so can you talk to the other Four Fanfictioneers about making me like a semi-member or whatever? There will probably need to be a different name for when I join you guys though, since it literally says 'four' in your name.

 **3P:** Already done! ^_^

 **3P:** And Phoenix thought of a name already: The Fictional Five.

 **Holo:** You beautiful fucking land mermaid! :D

 **3P:**...Wut? O.o

LWTF

 **5:** I know that my brother can be a pain sometimes, but he DOES really have his moments. He bought me a pussy for my birthday! :)

 **Mage:** Uh, good for you, I didn't know you wanted to be a girl.

 **5:** ...I can't believe my phone wasn't responsible for that one. I actually forgot the "cat"

 **5:** He bought me a pussy cat.

 **Mage:** Even autocorrect is pwned by human error -_-'

LWTF

 ****3P:** I literally ran five steps today when my foot was caught in a hole in the ground and I tripped, twisting my ankle. It was a total death trap!

 **Phoenix:** Wow you survived a death trap.

 **3P:** I did survive a death trap. ~There once was a girl named Harry who constantly conquered death~

 **3P:** *3P

 **Phoenix:** Haha, how do you confuse even confuse Harry and 3P? There's a number in it!

 **3P:** My mind types one thing my fingers think another.

 **Phoenix:** How do you confuse type and think? :P

 **3P:** Repeat previous statement.

 **3P:** Mind and body: definieypey not the sad

 **3P:** *definitely *same

 **Phoenix:** What the actual fuck?!

LWTF

 **Lantern:** Poor Zilla. All your phones hate you so much.

 **Zilla:** Thank you for pointing that out. But I think it's a mixture of lady technology and my craze of fingers.

 **Zilla:** Great, that makes me sound like a sexist and a pervert, thanks phone!

 **Lantern:** Lmfao whhhaaaaaaat? I am dying here!

 **Zilla:** "Laggy", not lady, and "claws instead", not craze - I forgot a space and my phone autocorrected the whole thing to "craze". Like, what? :/

 **Lantern:** DYYYYYYIIIIIINNNNGGGG! XD

LWTF

 **Night:** I'm playing Draw Something with Kookie. He just wrote 'The Grey' and after a long time pondering and thinking outside the box I realised the word to guess was 'Adolf'. A major part of a group formed around fandoms and Kookie thinks the most well-known Guy of Lord of the Rings was named Adolf the Grey.

 **Thoron:** Oh that poor misguided but well-meaning heart. It still manages to amaze me.

 **Night:** I was speechless. And too afraid to ask who he thought started the Holocaust.

LWTF

 **3P:** Hi bae, what are you doing?

 **Delirium:** Oh, nothin' much. 'M really tired and just going to sleep now. And you?

 **3P:** In the club standing behind you.

LWTF

 **Wish:** I just got us a mobster recycling bin :)

 **Dream:** Cool. So we can recycle dead guys in it after we whack 'em?

 **Wish:** Yes. Exactly.

 **Wish:** Even if they are fat.

 **Wish:** Lol, I thought I wrote monster! I thought you were just being funny!

 **Dream:** I was still funny. Haha :P

LWTF

 **Daemon:** Hey what are you up to?

 **Holo:** Just finished masturbating. It makes me feel so relaxed so I can go to sleep easier.

 **Daemon:** Awkward.

 **Holo:** Shit. I meant menstruating.

 **Daemon:** Not any less awkward.

 **Holo:** OMFG I meant meditating! What is wrong with this phone!

LWTF

 **Midnight:** I don't know what to get half my friends for Christmas this year!

 **Litwick:** I know right? They have everything.

 **Litwick:** Zilla is getting a new golf cart.

 **Litwick:** My brother is getting touched by an Asian.

 **Midnight:** I just burst out laughing in the library. LMFAO what?!

 **Litwick:** OMG. Touched by an Angel. Box set.

LWTF

 **5:** How are you doing?

 **Mage:** Pretty good, I guess. Unfortunately, money is still tight.

 **Mage:** I'm upset because Zilla sold my testicles at a garage sale.

 **5:** Well I'd be pretty mad at that too. Lol.

 **Mage:** Gah! Tricycles! Man, that was a horrible mix up.

 **5:** I'll say!

LWTF

 **3P:** I'm lesbian now. See you in 10-15min.

 **3P:** *LEAVING now. Damn autocorrect.

 **Zilla:** Huh. I didn't know you swung that way ;)

 **3P:** Oh shut up

LTWF

 **Thoron:** At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?

 **Kookie:** At the hands of one of your good friends.

 **Thoron:** An accident.

 **Kookie:** That's how I'm gonna make it look.

LWTF

 **Lantern:** THERE'S 104 DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION

 **Phoenix:** AND SCHOOL COMES ALONG JUST TO END IT

 **Lantern:** SO THE ANNUAL PROBLEM FOR OUR GENERATION IS FINDING A GOOD WAY TO SPEND IT... LIKE MAYBE

 **Phoenix:** SACRIFICING YOUR FRIENDS TO SATAN

 **Lantern:** Not yet, Phoenix.

 **Lantern:** Now hush, we don't want them to catch on.

LWTF

 **Daemon:** Hey Delirium, can you ring my phone? I can't remember where it is...

 **Delirium:** Daemon, what are you doing right now?

 **Daemon:** Looking for my phone, why?

 **Delirium:** BAKA, YOU ARE TEXTING ME! YOU TEXT WITH A PHONE! THE PHONE IS IN YOU HAND!

 **Daemon:** Oh yeah, thanks Delirium.

 **Delirium:** I'M SURROUNDED BY IMBECILES!

LWTF

 **Holo:** There's no food in this headquarters. Again.

 **Holo:** Not even bread.

 **Holo:** Even prisoners have bread :(

LWTF

 **Zilla:** Loaded gnomes found in Ethan's Academy for Vampiric Teens.

 **Zilla:** Fuck autocorrect.

 **Zilla:** Guns

 **Mage:** Lmao

 **Mage:** I was trying to figure out what a loaded gnome would do.

 **Zilla:** Kidnap you and force you to marry all one thousand of them to become queen of the gnomes.

* * *

 ****That was actually just a slightly edited conversation between us. It really happened, even the autocorrect fails! XD I just had to put it in here!**

 **REVIEWS**

 **GodzillaMan1000: Sorry, he wishes to remain anonymous (but I can give you his phone number). And don't worry, I believe you, Zilla. Btw Mage you're on your own.**

 **Delirium68: I'm glad, since that's what this is meant for!**

 **DarkWhisperKG: Thanks, to both of you! I'm happy that you appreciate my work! :D**

 **Animal Lover: Oh well, c'est la vie and all that. And let's hope we kept up the streak with this chapter! X)**

 **midnightsky0612: "No reason", riiiiiiiight. *rolls eyes* I'm totally in with murdering autocorrect though, but dragons won't be able to do anything other than destroy your phone. No, what you need for this job is something much more foul, much more deadly, and much more dangerous... AN ARMY OF ATTORNEYS!**

 **Guest: Yay! :)**

 **theawesomest5: Um...thanks? You're in it more than once though, and I know you're not in GMAD, but this isn't just restricted to GMAD _members_. You only need some sort of connection to GMAD, such as being a member's brother or friend. Why else would Delirium, Daemon and Holo be here?**

 **Luna the dragon: Thanks. And, well...I tried. It's just funnier this way. But I still did less (maybe), just for you!**

 **Anonym: While my story may have made your day, your review made mine! It was so nice! And sometimes my autocorrect messes with what I write for this! In the first chapter, in the one with Zilla eating children because of his Godzilla half, I meant to write '*chicken' but it autocorrected to '*children' by accident! I didn't notice until after I posted it though...**

 **Spirit of Fury: I was laughing while reading this** **just from picturing it in my head! AWESOME!**

 **IMPORTANT! Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions for next time?**


	4. LOL Worthy Texting Fails 4

**Phoenix:** Scientifically, it's mad how fucked up it is that humans drink the milk of another animal when we make our own. Like you don't see rhinos sucking on a goat for milk. Mad fucked up scientifically.

 **Daemon:** How high are you?

 **Phoenix:** Yes

LWTF

 **Kookie:** Hi Rider.

 **Rider:** KookieIsAwesome Kookie.

 **Kookie:** Why thank you for your kind words! :)

 **Rider:** KookieIsAwesome

 **Rider:** Not KookieIsAwesome, KookieIsAwesome!

 **Rider:** What the heck?

 **Kookie:** I get it, I get it: you worship me, but don't worry, it's completely normal! Everyone does.

 **Rider:** You changed H.I. on my phone, didn't you?

 **Kookie:** XP

LWTF

 **Delirium:** What are you doing?

 **3P:** Lying in bed.

 **Delirium:** Just laying in bed? Nothing else?

 **3P:** I'm eating cereal.

 **Delirium:** Haha nice. What would you do if I was there with you?

 **3P:** Eat my cereal.

 **Delirium:** I meant if the cereal wasn't there.

 **3P:** Then I'd get out of bed and go get cereal.

LWTF

 **Zilla:** I'm gay.

 **Lantern:** Good for you.

 **Zilla:** I'm not gay my brother took my phone. Now excuse me while I kill him.

LWTF

 **Night:** Heard you got an iPhone, if you need any help with it don't hesitate to call me.

 **Holo:** DaLV

 **Holo:** M

 **Holo:**

 **Night:** Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it soon. Practice makes perfect.

 **Holo:** Oklahoma

LWTF

 **Litwick:** I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss you a lot 5.

 **5:** You know what I miss?

 **5:** Oreo cereal

 **Litwick:** What? C'mon, please be serious.

 **5:** Where do they sell that at?

LWTF

 **Dream:** So you finally into ghosts, huh? I could hook you up with some ;)

 **Wish:** Actually I WAS into ghosts, but they're so mainstream now.

 **Wish:** Like cellphones.

 **Dream:** I'M HOLDING A GHOST?!

 **Wish:** -_-

 **Dream:** :P

LWTF

 **Ace:** How make chicken

 **Thoron:** What?

 **Ace:** Where buy chicken

 **Thoron:** Ace this isn't google. Are you drunk?

 **Ace:** Avacado

LWTF

 **3P:** I love drunk 3P. She gets shit done. I have made lunch for tomorrow. No idea what's in it. That's tomorrow 3P's problem. The important thing is, I made it.

 **Lantern:** What did drunk 3P make for lunch?

 **3P:** It was just an empty lunchbox :(

 **3P:** Drunk 3P is a moron.

LWTF

 **Holo:** What's Zilla short for?

 **Zilla:** GodzillaMan1000

 **Holo:** My guess was The Lizard King.

 **Holo:** Wanna know what my second guess was?

 **Zilla:** Sure

 **Holo:** Disney's The Lizard King.

LWTF

 **Mage:** I have never been this high in my life.

 **5:** Can you move?

 **Mage:** Yeah, I think so. Thanks for the concern :)

 **5:** No I meant you're in the way.

LWTF

 **Daemon:** I know this is out of the blue, but I just had the weirdest sex dream.

 **Delirium:** I had a sex dream about Obama once.

 **Delirium:** Hands down best sex dream I've ever had.

 **Daemon:** TMI, dude. Btw I'm screenshotting this conversation and sending it to your girlfriend.

LWTF

 **Phoenix:** Dude, I accidentally smashed your laptop.

 **Lantern:** Why do you ALWAYS break my stuff?

 **Phoenix:** I don't ALWAYS break your stuff.

 **Lantern:** Remember when you CRACKED MY TV SCREEN?

 **Lantern:** Remember when you SMASHED MY ALARM CLOCK?

 **Lantern:** Remember when you SCORCHED MY MATTRESS?

 **Phoenix:** Remember when you SWOOPED DOWN FROM THE SKY SCREAMING "DEATH FROM ABOVE" AND NEARLY KILLED ME?

 **Lantern:** ...I'll just buy a new laptop.

LWTF

 **Dream:** Hey, Wish? I've been put on probation in GMAD...

 **Wish:** WTF YOU'RE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?

 **Dream:** Well I was in a meeting while you were on a mission and Night had Thoron talk about anti-bullying to teach us how to mediate fights on missions, and he said "sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me"

 **Wish:** AND!?

 **Dream:** So I threw a dictionary at his head.

 **Wish:** You dear sister. Are officially. Out of trouble.

LWTF

 **Sakura:** Hey Kura! Which phone do you like most? Samsung S3 or iPhone 5?

 **Kura:** OMG SAKURA! I LIKE THE IPHONE! OMG THANK YOU SAKURA I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

 **Sakura:** It's not for you. It's for Night.

 **Kura:** That was so mean! Even for you! T-T

LWTF

 **Kookie:** Are you enjoying your muffin?

 **Night:** Yes. Where are you?

 **Kookie:** Not important

 **Kookie:** What does that muffin taste like?

 **Night:** Chocolate chip

 **Kookie:** And?

 **Night:** That's it. Choc chip.

 **Kookie:** And...?

 **Night:** DID YOU LICK THIS?

 **Kookie:** Like a LOLLYPOP LMFAO!

LWTF

 **Phoenix:** Hey it's Phoenix this is my new number :)

 **Midnight:** You got a new phone?

 **Phoenix:** Yeah, I have! :D

 **Midnight:** What happened to your old one?

 **Phoenix:** I put it on airplane mode and threw it in the air...worst transformer ever :(

LWTF

 **3P:** Who are you? Someone changed all the names in my phone.

 **Unknown:** What did they change my name to?

 **3P:** Chosen One

 **Unknown:** Don't change it back.

 **3P:** BUT WHO ARE YOU?!

 **Unknown:** I am the Chosen One.

* * *

 **This is a part of my birthday update dump! Happy birthday to me! Enjoy your gift my readers!**

 **REVIEWS**

 **midnightsky0612: I killed a man...with _this_ story! (Get the reference?)**

 **Litwick723: I'm glad you think so. That was one of those on-the-spot decisions.**

 **Delirium68: Yes, I'm sure you think that. I know you, man. That's why it was so perfect.**

 **lauralkelley99: Aw, thanks! That's sweet! ^_^**

 **theawesomest5: Glad to see I got you in character. To answer your question: No, I wouldn't turn into ashes. In fact, I'd erupt into flame as my fire spirit form (literally made of fire) is released while my human form recovers from the wounds (time taken depends on the severity of the wounds). Water however will harm me a little. More so in my fire spirit form, but in my human form if my hair is wet then my pyrokinetic abilities are hindered. Also, I found a mistake in your review. 'So' instead of 'send'.**

 **Anonym: Merry belated Christmas! Aw, don't put yourself down like that, you have more creativity then that!**

 **Spirit of Fury: Lol XD! Haha, that sounds hilarious! Your review made _me_ laugh! I'm guessing you tried to smother you laughter with a pillow?**

 **DarkWhisperKG: Thank you, I quite liked that one myself.**


	5. LOL Worthy Texting Fails 5

**Dream:** DUDE!

 **Phoenix:** Yeah?

 **Dream:** You know what would be awesome to do on boring days?

 **Phoenix:** What? What is it? Tell meeeee!

 **Dream:** Okay so we should go to Ikea and hide in those closet thingies and then when someone walks past...we walk out and say "I'm back from Narnia!"

 **Phoenix:** This is why we're friends! XD

LWTF

 **Mage:** You're the sweetest candything in all of the universe. Sprinkles odf sugar on my tasters.

 **5:** Mage, are you drunk?

 **Mage:** Would you arrest me rif I wass?

 **5:** No

 **Mage:** You arw so polite.

 **5:** Thank you. So, how much have you had to drink?

 **Mage:** A sausage roll and a half donzen of babies.

LWTF

 **Zilla:** My ex-girlfriend just sent me some pictures of her with her boyfriend.

 **Litwick:** Ouch :/ You alright?

 **Zilla:** Yeah I'm fine, I sent them to her father :)

 **Litwick:** Sometimes I forget why you're my best friend but then you do something like this! XD

LWTF

 **Lantern:** G. Gummy bears are chasing me. One is red. One is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life. Coz the red one's got a knife.

 **Wish:** Why are we even friends?

 **Lantern:** Because you love how random I am. :)

 **Wish:** -_- I need normal friends.

 **Wish:** And a normal sister. But one step at a time.

LWTF

 **3P:** I'm still hungry!

 **Daemon:** You've already had breakfast.

 **3P:** Don't care, want more breakfast!

 **Daemon:** You'll get fat.

 **3P:** What is this 'fat' of which you speak?

 **Daemon:** It's what happens when you eat too much food.

 **3P:** Fat sounds awesome! Let's get fat!

LWTF

 **Thorn:** Where did you go?

 **Mal:** To rhe room throw in up I'm s

 **Mal:** Soo ck

 **Mal:** Sooooo cimk

 **Mal:** Soo vim

 **Mal:** Sponsick

 **Mal:** Yeh Toyota kn

 **Mal:** Know what I malean

 **Thorn:** I can honestly say that I do not. WTF?

LWTF

 **Delirium:** I'm a gangster. I'm a straight up G, the hamster life is the life for me.

 **Delirium:** STUPID AUTOCORRECT!

 **Holo:** Been spendin' most of their lives in the hamster paradise.

 **Delirium:** Stop mocking me!

 **Holo:** Shooting people by day, selling drugs by night, bein' a hamster is hella tight.

 **Delirium:** Shut up YOLO!

 **Holo:** OMG LOL!

 **Delirium:** *facepalm* I meant Holo.

 **Holo:** I AM THE GOD OF YOLO!

LWTF

 **Night:** Kookie, I have a riddle for you. Mary's father has five daughters. Nana, Nene, Nini and Nono. Who's the fifth daughter?

 **Kookie:** Nunu

 **Night:** Let me repeat that. MARY's father has five daughters. Nana, Nene, Nini and Nono. Who's the fifth daughter?

 **Kookie:** I already told you, Nunu :P

 **Night:** I don't wanna live on this planet anymore :/

LWTF

 **Dream:** ~Speed of lightning, roar of thunder, UNDERDOG!~

 **3P:** ~Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can~

 **Dream:** ~Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. It's SUPERMAN!~

 **3P:** ~Dun na na na na na na na dun na na na na na na na dun na na na na na na na BREAST MILK!~

 **Dream:** Pff, HAHAHAHAHAHA! ROFLMFAO!

 **3P:** I meant BAYMAX!

 **Dream:** Lol that isn't any better! XD

 **3P:** Ugh, BATMAN you dipshit!

 **Dream:** I think this means I beat you XP

LWTF

 **Phoenix:** HELP ME! I'M LOST AT IKEA!

 **Phoenix:** Update: I'm trying to find either Dream or an employee.

 **Lantern:** Did you find one of them?

 **Phoenix:** I did. I actually found both. BUT THEY'RE JUST AS LOST AS I AM!

 **Lantern:** Did you find your way out?

 **Phoenix:** No, all three of us are camping in the bed section living off of discarded meatballs and the tears of lost children. Plz send help.

LWTF

 **Wish:** Try to sum up Harry Potter in the briefest way you can.

 **Ace:** Everyone: HARRY NO! Harry: HARRY YES!

 **Wish:** ...I am very impressed. What about the hot dudes?

 **Ace:** I suppose I could add in something about all the hot dudes, but I already mentioned Harry three times, so I think I'm good.

 **Wish:** My phone just changed the word 'horcruxes' to 'hot dudes' as if it wishes I were cool and popular and not texting about Harry Potter.

 **Ace:** Oh, nevermind then. But the same thing applies: multiple mentions of Harry means I'm good.

 **Wish:** Though the hot dudes don't sound so bad, right?

 **Ace:** You know me so well ;)

LWTF

 **5:** For Christmas I want another dragon.

 **Litwick:** Be realistic 5.

 **5:** Okay then I want a girlfriend.

 **Litwick:** What species of dragon do you want?

 **5:** -_-

LWTF

 **Daemon:** Imagine this is a life or death question: What's thicker than the thickest steel and denser than the densest iron?

 **Phoenix:** Ash Ketchum's head.

 **3P:** You're gonna get yourself killed joking around like that Phoenix.

 **Phoenix:** I'm not joking. It's been proven.

 **Daemon:**...She's actually right.

 **3P:** ...

 **3P:**...I am genuinely amazed.

LWTF

 **Wish:** You like to pretend to be a big bad tough guy, but I know you're really a big softy.

 **Zilla:** I have no idea what you're talking about.

 **Dream:** Aw, does the big bad lizard-man not wanna admit he's got a soft side?

 **Zilla:** I don't have to deal with this.

 **Wish:** Poor big baby boo~

 **Zilla:** Stop mocking me! I am the fearsome GodzillaMan1000 and I swear you will...eventually...feel my wrath!

 **Dream:** The big softie is trying to be tough~ Don't worry, we can act scared! ;D

 **Dream:** Oh no, save me from this fearsome warrior!

 **Wish:** Please, don't let us feel this mighty being's wrath!

 **Zilla:** AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! THAT'S IT! I'M DONE! Zilla has officially exited this conversation, PEACE!

 **Dream:** Hahaha! That was AWESOME!

 **Wish:** It totally was! Best. Mockery. Ever! Haha XD

LWTF

 **Night:** I've decided to create a competition for GMAD.

 **Thoron:** What's it going to be called?

 **Night:** GMAD's got Tourette's.

 **Thoron:** Lol, what is it like competitive cussing?

 **Night:** Talent, sorry.

 **Thoron:** I like the sound of the first one better :P

 **Night:** Shut up.

LWTF

 **Kookie:** I can't believe Night really thinks I didn't get that riddle of hers. Joshing with her is hilarious! Anyway, you wanted to tell me something?

 **Rider:** Yeah Kookie, congrats on your manboobs!

 **Kookie:** WTF!?

 **Kookie:** I'm not that huge, dude! I am deeply offended right now.

 **Rider:** Manhood, I heard you got kissed.

 **Kookie:** Who was the snitch that told you?! Tell me!

 **Kookie:** It was Night, wasn't it?!

 **Rider:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

LWTF

 **Mal:** Cuz, I think I need a new mistress.

 **Mal:** Mattress.

 **Thorn:** We can get both if you want. ;)

 **Mal:** Gtfo!

 **Thorn:** But I only just got on. My mistress that is.

 **Mal:** Aaaarrrgghhh! TMI, man! I'M SCARRED!

 **Thorn:** You're so gullible. I don't even have a mistress. Yet.

 **Mal:** O.o

LWTF

 **Delirium:** So what do you do for a hobby?

 **Holo:** I hunt and kill aliens.

 **Delirium:** What? Aliens don't exist you idiot.

 **Holo:** Have you ever seen one?

 **Delirium:** No.

 **Holo:** You're fucking welcome.


	6. LOL Worthy Texting Fails 6

**Delirium:** Whoever this is, did you change your name in my contacts?

 **Phoenix:** No. Why? Did someone change it?

 **Delirium:** Apparently.

 **Phoenix:** What did they change it to?

 **Delirium:** Darth Vader.

 **Phoenix:** Don't change it back!

 **Delirium:** But who the hell are you?!

 **Phoenix:** I am your father.

LWTF

 **Thorn:** Lantern just had an allergic reaction to garlic, I had to inject her with an Epic Penis.

 **Zilla:** WTF dude? That's so wrong!

 **Thorn:** My phone is a fucking pervert.

 **Thorn:** I wrote 'Epi Pen' and then autocorrect swooped down on the battlefield of my phone, leaving mass mayhem and destruction in its wake.

 **Zilla:** There were no survivors.

LWTF

 **Wish:** Hot guy on your right.

 **Dream:** ~Saw him, faked a sneeze so he'd say bless you to me, a playa got movesss like Jagger~

 **Wish:** DAMN you're good.

 **Wish:** I'm gonna go trip so he'll ask me if I'm okay and help me up.

 **Dream:** You tripped amazingly sister! But OMG he sees us texting each other...he's on to us! ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! :O

LWTF

 **Daemon:** Holo, I'm sorry

 **Daemon:** Please talk to me buddy.

 **Daemon:** Mate?

 **Daemon:** Amigo?

 **Daemon:** World's awesomest bestie?

 **Daemon:** Beautiful land mermaid too amazing for this world; too fantabulous?

 **Holo:** 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking skittles, Daemon.

LWTF

 **Night:** Eeeyyy, Cookiee?

 **Kookie:** Are you drunk, Night?

 **Night:** Not importinant.

 **Night:** I've bean meaning to ask u a question.

 **Kookie:** Shoot

 **Night:** Du you think Lord Voldemort was actually a lord in any cents of the word? Or was he just a fruitloop?

 **Kookie:** I have been waiting for you to ask me this for a long time now, Padawan. I do not believe he is truly a lord. I have reason to suspect that he merely put 'Lord' in front of his name and people just went with it.

 **Night:** R u tyring to sound sofistiskated?

 **Kookie:** Maybe :P

 **Night:** Then maybe I ort to do likewise. Wut do you think of Lord Night?

 **Kookie:** It is marvellous, my lord.

LWTF

 **3P:** When are you gonna get here Lantern?

 **Lantern:** I'll be there soon, I just left.

 **3P:** Where? Zilla's house? XP

 **Lantern:** OMFG! BAD 3P, BAD! NO!

 **3P:** What? Don't you ship Lanzilla?

 **Lantern:** You know PERFECTLY WELL how I feel about being shipped with Zilla! He's my FREAKING FRIEND!

 **3P:** Are you SURE you're just friends? You spend an awful lot of time with him, and you KNOW what happens in his and Litwick's fanfics ;)

 **Lantern:** That's it. I'm officially disowning you.

LWTF

 **Wish:** :(

 **Ace:** Turn that frown upside down!

 **Wish:** ):

 **Ace:** You little shit

LWTF

 **Kura:** SOMEBODY IS PLAYING A PIANO IN THE HOTEL I'M STAYING AT AND IT'S MIDNIGHT WHY?!

 **Kura:** Update: I JUST FIGURED OUT THEY'RE PLAYING "MY HEART WILL GO ON"!

 **Kura:** Update: I JUST OPENED MY ROOM DOOR AND YELLED "JACK!" THE MUSIC STOPPED AND I CAN HEAR SOMEBODY RUNNING DOWN THE HALL ABOVE ME SHOUTING "ROSE!" OMG

 **Kura:** CAN I SHIP IT?

 **Sakura:** No, it'll sink.

 **Kura:** You!

 **Sakura:** Your fault for waking me up by shouting.

LWTF

 **5:** Litwick, you know the Harry Potter movies?

 **Litwick:** Of course I know the Harry Potter movies. Idiot.

 **5:** Ignoring that insult; is it just me or is Malfoy's grunt Crabbe black now?

 **Litwick:** He seems to be black, 5, yes.

 **5:** He didn't used to be black.

 **Litwick:** I'm trying to read, 5. Leave me alone.

 **5:** I'm gonna ask Mage about this. I'm not trying to be racist, but he definitely used to be white before Deathly Hallows.

LWTF

 **Phoenix:** Have you ever seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

 **Lantern:** No?

 **Phoenix:** HAHAHAHA!

 **Lantern:**...shit

 **Lantern:** I see what you did there.

LWTF

 **Kookie:** ARGH! I can't believe it! Night just dumped a war speech on me!

 **Holo:** Wait, what?

 **Kookie:** You know how that commemorative ceremony of the war is coming up this weekend?

 **Holo:** Yeah?

 **Kookie:** Well yesterday Night just came up to me and was all like "hey Kookie btw you're saying the remembrance speech thingy this weekend hope you're prepared and have the speech ready even though I know you don't lol"

 **Holo:** She said that?

 **Kookie:** Well not that exactly but you get the idea! She just dumped this speech on me and I'm totally not prepared, not to mention how important it is! I barely even know anything about it! DX

 **Kookie:** Quick! Give me any sort of line I can use that applies to wars in general!

 **Holo:** Uh...um..."The young men thrust forward with passion."

 **Holo:** That...didn't come out quite right...

 **Kookie:** Roflmfao!

 **Holo:** I am a terrible person. I'm going to hell forever now.

LWTF

 **Daemon:** The world is fucked I swear

 **Delirium:** What happened?

 **Daemon:** You have to explain something because I'm baffled and upset.

 **Delirium:** Okay...?

 **Daemon:** Like really upset.

 **Delirium:** What is it? Hurry up and tell me.

 **Daemon:** Why the FUCK is there a "D" in fridge but not in refrigerator?

LWTF

 **Zilla:** Stop sending me pictures of Sonic the Hedgehog.

 **Mage:** DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY LIFE!

LWTF

 **Thorn:** Should I get pizza?

 **Thorn:** Hey Mal my arm just got chopped off by a psycho killer.

 **Mal:** Okay don't worry I will save you!

 **Thorn:** I already bled to death.

 **Thorn:** That's what happens when you take half an hour to reply to texts.

 **Thorn:** People die.

 **Mal:** Then how are you texting me?

 **Thorn:** From beyond the grave: I'm a ghost now.

 **Mal:** Oh, okay. Awesomesauce.

LWTF

 **Dream:** I'm on the worst date ever! I've been hiding in the bathroom for about fifteen minutes now. I don't care what anyone thinks, I will live in this bathroom forever if I have to!

 **Ace:** Go back out. I'll call you in five minutes and pretend I blew up your dragon or something so you have an excuse to leave.

 **Dream:** I owe you my life now.

LWTF

 **Holo:** Hey you're hot wanna go out? *finger guns*

 **3P:** I have a boyfriend. You KNOW that.

 **Holo:** I have a math test tomorrow.

 **3P:** What does that have to do with anything?

 **Holo:** ...I thought we were both listing things we could cheat on.

 **3P:**...Board games.

 **Holo:** That's the spirit!

 **3P:** And sorry, but I'm happy with Delirium.

 **Holo:** Cool beans.

LWTF

 **Litwick:** If it were up to me I would keep you locked up in my basement with crayons, colouring books and Crackers 'n Cheese Dip snacks :P

 **Zilla:** Oh man that sounds like the life. Colouring is the best and I love it :D

 **Zilla:** But none of that rose art crap. I want the fancy schmancy crayola.

 **Litwick:** Crayola fo' life, dude!

LWTF

 **Night:** Okay, I know not all the members of GMAD know about Undertale, but those that have, make sure to be on your phones at lunch.

 **Litwick:** So what's up? Why were you asking if we knew about Undertale?

 **Night:** I want us all to compile a list of the lessons we learnt from each character. I think it'll be a good learning experience. I'll go first.

 **Night:** Toriel: Always be kind to everyone you meet.

 **Kookie:** Sans: Being funny doesn't make you weak.

 **Zilla:** Papyrus: You're as great as you believe you are.

 **Litwick:** Undyne: Always fight for those you care for.

 **Lantern:** Alphys: Sometimes you'll be scared to do things, and that's okay.

 **3P:** Mettaton: You're stunning, no matter who you are.

 **Phoenix:** Flowey: Flowers are dicks.

* * *

 **REVIEWS**

 **Delirium68: It's just a story meant to make people laugh. Trust me, the accuracy is not the best.**

 **midnightsky0612: Thanks! ^_^**

 **LanternLover23: I found that one pretty funny as well. And honestly, I'm not surprised by your story. At all. :P**

 **GodzillaMan1000: Liked that one, huh? I had a fun time writing it. Eh, this isn't meant to be the most accurate story ever, so it's fine. And thanks!**

 **DarkWhisperKG: Aw, thanks! :D *blows out candles and slices the cake, handing a piece to everyone that's a part of this story* Hehe, nice continuation of that Text. I like it!**

 **theawesomest5: I do pretty much all of my fanfic stuff on my iPad as well. That or my iPhone. I know your pain! Really? Eight exes? Well, what a surprise! *dodges brick you threw at my head* Kidding, kidding! I believe you! Yeah, that was one of the inferred funny parts of the alien Text. I'm glad you caught it.**

 **Scout017: You're welcome! :) I'm glad you find it so funny! Btw I'll make sure to attend your funeral.**

 **Spirit of Fury: I can imagine. Oh, wow, you're in trouble!~ Thanks, I'm glad I have managed to make your laugh so much it hurts. That's the sign of true laughter in my book. The GMAD is a group run by Toni42, previously NightFury999 that stands for Guardian Magic Archer Dragons and is mainly centred around the Big Four fandoms (RotG, HtTYD, Tangled and Brave). If you want to join just PM Toni/Night and fill out the form.**

 **I Wasn't Invited: I think I know the reason. Here it is, as promised; a _subtle_ hint.**


	7. LOL Worthy Texting Fails 7

**3P:** I SWEAR I AM NOT CUTE OR SWEET!

 **3P:** DON'T CALL ME THAT

 **3P:** I AM EVIL

 **3P:** I AM THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT

 **3P:** FEAR ME!

 **Delirium:** Aw, you're adorable! :D

 **3P:** NO I AM NOT! STOP IT!

 **Delirium:** Never :3

LWTF

 **Lantern:** I need advice :(

 **Phoenix:** What for, bud?

 **Lantern:** Well-

 **Phoenix:** WAIT, WAIT! BEFORE YOU TELL ME!

 **Phoenix:** All advice is stuff I've learned from television and movies.

 **Phoenix:** Do you accept the above conditions?

LWTF

 **Zilla:** Awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingoes in my bed and on surrounding floor. Explanation?

 **Mage:** Are you really sure you want one?

 **Zilla:** ...On second thought, no.

LWTF

 **Mr. 5:** All the heroes are ganging up on me just because I've stolen the dagger that controls your very being and are using it to turn you against them.

 **Mr. 5:** Have the heroes destroyed, Litwick!

 **Litwick:** Look this isn't your fifth birthday party with the unsatisfactory circus clown.

 **Litwick:** I can't just have everyone that you don't like killed. That's not how it works.

 **Litwick:** After all, you're an evil spirit that I don't like that has taken over my brother's body as well as his phone account and you're still here.

 **Mr. 5:** Yeah, yeah, you could at least try.

LWTF

 **Dream:** I'm in big trouble with Wish. Right now I'm hiding from her.

 **Ace:** Wtf did you do this time?

 **Dream:** Well she asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me

 **Ace:** So? :/

 **Dream:** I caught the sock and yelled, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is a free elf!" and ran away screaming.

 **Dream:** Leading to me hiding from her.

 **Ace:** LOL I have taught you well my little house elf :)

LWTF

 **Sakura:** Hey genius, you left the handbrake off.

 **Kura:** No I didn't.

 **Sakura:** Yes, you did.

 **Kura:** No, I didn't!

 **Sakura:** Fine then. You 'didn't'. I guess I'm rolling down this great big hill in someone ELSE'S car.

 **Kura:** OMFG!

 **Sakura:** This is awesome!

 **Sakura:** I'm gonna crash it.

 **Kura:** DON'T YOU DARE CRASH IT!

LWTF

 **Kookie:** Have you got chocolate chip cookies upstairs?

 **Night:** No.

 **Kookie:** I thought I could smell freshly baked chocolate chips.

 **Night:** You were mistaken.

 **Kookie:** I'll come upstairs and check anyway.

 **Night:** FFS! Alright, yes, I HAVE got freshly baked chocolate chip cookies but they're MINE. You can't have any!

 **Kookie:** Yeah, thought so.

 **Kookie:** I'll just come up and watch you eat them.

LWTF

 **Phoenix:** Where are you?

 **Delirium:** Where am I? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

 **Phoenix:** I'm in my Lair eating frosted chocolate pop tarts.

 **Delirium:** I'M IN THE TANGLED DIMENSION!

 **Phoenix:** What the hell are you doing there?

 **Delirium:** WAITING FOR YOU AT THE MEETING POINT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT OVER TWO HOURS AGO TO REPORT BACK AFTER SEARCHING FOR THE MAGIC GOLDEN FLOWER!

 **Phoenix:** Oh yeah.

 **Phoenix:** Totally couldn't find it.

LWTF

 **Zilla:** Did it hurt?

 **Lantern:** Did what hurt?

 **Zilla:** When you fell from heaven?

 **Lantern:** Actually I was pulled up from hell.

LWTF

 **3P:** If I die before you can you make sure my funeral is Supernatural themed?

 **Holo:** OMG it would be an honour!

 **Holo:** Can you make sure mine is Shrek themed?

 **3P:** Sure, I'll come dressed as Donkey.

LWTF

 **Mal:** Knock knock

 **Thorn:** Who's there?

 **Mal:** Daisy.

 **Thorn:** Daisy who?

 **Mal:** ~DAISY ME ROLLIN', THEY HATIN'~

 **Thorn:** No one can know we are related.

LWTF

 **Daemon:** I'm in my boxers and singlet eating an entire pizza by myself and this is why I'm single.

 **Holo:** Well you're not actually single.

 **Daemon:** That's true.

 **Daemon:** I'm gonna marry this pizza.

 **Holo:** Dude go for it.

LWTF

 **Night:** I'm having one of those days.

 **Night:** Plz send me words of encouragement so I don't murder somebody.

 **Thoron:** There is no Netflix in prison.

LWTF

 **Dream:** DUDE! DUDE! TURN ON THE TV!

 **Wish:** Why? What's on?

 **Dream:** DON'T QUESTION ME, JUST TURN IT ON!

 **Wish:** Fine.

 **Wish:** HOLY SHIT DANCING HAMSTERS! :D

 **Dream:** YEAH MAN!

LWTF

 **3P:** What do you guys wanna do?

 **Delirium:** Egg people.

 **Daemon:** Steal a car.

 **Phoenix:** Rob a Bob.

 **Phoenix:** *Bank

 **Phoenix:** Though if we run into a guy called Bob let's rob him too.

LWTF

 **Kookie:** Hey are kiwi fruits supposed to be fuzzy inside? I NEED TO KNOW ASAP!

 **Rider:** NO!

 **Kookie:** Oops I just polled other members of GMAD and they let me eat it.

 **Rider:** Lol you're gonna die.

LWTF

 **Mage:** Times Facebook fucks with my mind: when Irene I stalked in 2nd grade buys a house with her boyfriend.

 **5:** WTF Irene no.

 **5:** Irene it's a seller's market.

LWTF

 **Night:** Was EVERYONE drunk at that party last night?

 **Thoron:** What do you mean?

 **Night:** YOU had your face pressed against a fish tank singing "just keep swimming" from Finding Nemo.

 **Thoron:** ...

 **Night:** Kookie was hugging a guy with a beard yelling, "Dumbledore, you're alive!"

 **Kookie:** And your point is...?

 **Night:** Zilla ran into a brick wall repeatedly shouting, "I need to get to platform 9 and 3/4! We'll miss the train!"

 **Zilla:** Oh shit really?!

 **Night:** I actually convinced Litwick to try and bite his own nose... he was rolling around on the floor for an hour screaming, "IT'S GETTING AWAY IT'S GETTING AWAY!"

 **Litwick:** I hate you more than words can express.

 **Phoenix:** HA! LOL! Bunch of lightweights!

 **Night:** What are you talking about?! You were drunk too!

 **Phoenix:** No I wasn't.

 **Night:** Are you kidding? You got up on stage and started singing and dancing wildly to "Who Let The Dogs Out" in a green dog outfit while imitating GIR's voice!

 **Phoenix:** Exactly. Completely sober.

* * *

 **REVIEWS**

 **GodzillaMan1000: *salutes* Will do! Yeah, she told me about that, that's why I'm adding a little anti-Lanzilla.**

 **midnightsky0612: Thanks! ^_^**

 **The Queen of Nope: That's fine, I don't mind a hysterical Dream. Glad to hear you both liked it!**

 **Str8ShipsRBoringFukU: Strange sentence, but true enough. It _was_ about as subtle as a polar bear in a restaurant. Good thing that's what I was going for! And I really liked that Text as well XD Thorn is mean, but really, you should have had more sense. No one can hate Gravity Falls!**

 **theawesomest5: Whoops, sorry. Thoughts you were a ladies man but I guess I was mistaken. JK, lol. I actually think Sans got his LOVE and EXP from killing Frisk a.k.a. Chara. Since he was aware of the timelines and how he had been killing them over and over again is it really a stretch to believe his knowledge of both would have let the levels transfer timelines? And if not that, then what about the accident with Gaster? Maybe all those monsters being erased had something to do with San's LOVE and EXP?**

 **AutumnNightmare: Ugh, writer's block, that is the worst! *pathetically wines* It suuuuuucks.**

 **Luna the dragon: This is a story I've written about various fanfic authors on this site - mostly from GMAD - texting each other (and failing).**

 **ThatNewAuthor: Here you go! The more you were desiring so much (probably not but it's fun to pretend).**


	8. LOL Worthy Texting Fails 8

**Phoenix:** HOLO NO WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS

 **Phoenix:** DON'T EAT YOUR LEGS!

 **Holo:** JUST LET ME EAT MY LEGS PLEASE.

 **Holo:** I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR YOU.

 **Phoenix:** NO YOU REALLY DON'T

LWTF

 **Zilla:** You see Elsa and Jack over there?

 **Lantern:** Yeah...?

 **Zilla:** Don't they make such a cute couple?

 **Lantern:** Well, they're certainly standing next to each other.

 **Lantern:** Why are you even texting me anyway?

 **Lantern:** We're right next to each other!

LWTF

 **Kookie:** Thoron, help!

 **Thoron:** What?

 **Kookie:** I'm trapped in a dungeon!

 **Thoron:** Cool

 **Kookie:** I'm surrounded by five hungry, human-devouring demons.

 **Thoron:** Kay

 **Kookie:** With my feet chained to the ground.

 **Thoron:** Uh-huh

 **Kookie:** I'M ABOUT TO FREAKING DIE! DX

 **Thoron:** Great

 **Kookie:** Thoron.

 **Kookie:** Night is here too.

 **Thoron:** HOLY FUCK WHERE ARE YOU GUYS I'M COMING TO GET YOU WHAT DIMENSION ARE YOU IN?!

LWTF

 **Litwick:** I would like to nominate you for the boiling hot water bucket challenge.

 **Mr. 5:** That's not a thing.

 **Litwick:** It is now.

LWTF

 **3P:** Delirium I've been kidnapped by Vaughn help!

 **Delirium:** How did that happen?!

 **3P:** I was playing Pokemon Go and I wasn't paying attention!

 **3P:** ...Look, just come help me.

 **Delirium:** What team are you on?

 **3P:** Valor. Why?

 **Delirium:** You're on your own.

 **3P:** FUCKING MYSTIC!

LWTF

 **Mal:** Dude you're really drunk maybe I should get you home?

 **Thorn:** NAH WAIT I'M FINE. I NEVER PUKED FROM THROWING UP.

 **Mal:** ...You mean drinking?

LWTF

 **Phoenix:** Oh no

 **Phoenix:** Oh no

 **Dream:** What is it?

 **Phoenix:** I'm shipping a demon with a child again.

 **Dream:** Not again -_-'

 **Phoenix:** At least the demon isn't a shape this time.

 **Dream:** ...

LWTF

 **Mage:** So you know those fluffy little chicken toy things you see a lot around Easter?

 **5:** Um yeah? Why?

 **Mage:** Well, I just hid 27 of them around the house and I'm waiting for Zilla to find them.

 **5:** How have I not thought of this?!

 **5:** Tell me his reaction when he finds the first one!

 **Mage:** "WHY THE SHIT IS THERE A CHICKEN IN MY COFFEE CUP?!" The first chicken has been found.

 **5:** OMG XD

 **Mage:** "Mage I think you have a problem," Zilla says as he holds 15 tiny chickens in his hands.

 **5:** I can't breathe! X'D

 **Mage:** Who knew it would be so much fun to terrorise my brother with small chickens? :)

LWTF

 **Wish:** It bothers me that the intelligence of animals is measured by how willing they are to obey the commands of a human.

 **Ace:** Same goes for students at school.

 **Wish:** Wow omg okay I just realised how fucked up that is.

LWTF

 **Lantern:** I write sins not five page mission reports.

 **Thorn:** Either way it's still a tragedy.

LWTF

 **Daemon:** Hey, I just downloaded this app that lets me make personalised emojis. I made one that looks EXACTLY like you! Wanna see it?

 **Delirium:** I know I'm going to regret this.

 **Delirium:** *sigh* Fine

 **Daemon:** ㈐9

 **Delirium:** Fuck you.

LWTF

 **Kura:** Did you hear about what happened to Litwick?

 **Kura:** That's just tragic.

 **Sakura:** Not as tragic as your face.

 **Kura:** Oh come on, that was uncalled for.

 **Sakura:** Your face is uncalled for.

LWTF

 **3P:** I really love that the Supernatural description on Netflix is 'Siblings Dean and Sam crisscross the country, investigating paranormal activity and picking fights with demons, ghosts, and monsters.'

 **3P:** _Picking fights._

 **3P:** It makes it sound like the demons, ghosts and monsters are just hanging out and all of a sudden Dean and Sam show up and bug the shit out of them.

 **Holo:** I know, right? I love it! XD

 **Holo:** "Hey werewolf, nice wig, what's it made of?"

 **Holo:** "YOUR DEAD DAD'S BACK HAIR!"

LWTF

 **Dream:** What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car?

 **Dream:** "Robin, get in the car."

 **Wish:** What?

 **Dream:** A blind man walks into a bar.

 **Dream:** And a table. And a chair.

 **Wish:** Uh, Dream?

 **Dream:** Knock, knock.

 **Dream:** Come in.

 **Wish:** Sis...

 **Dream:** What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette?

 **Dream:** Their hair colour.

 **Wish:** I don't think you're telling these jokes right.

 **Dream:** Well, considering I'm attempting to replicate YOUR sense of humour I would assume that I'm telling these jokes just fine.

 **Wish:** ...

 **Dream:** BOY I JUST FLAMED YO' ASS!

LWTF

 **Kookie:** What if authors had food names and food had author names?

 **Kookie:** "Hey sandwich time for lunch"

 **Kookie:** "What are we having?"

 **Kookie:** "Toni42"

 **Ace:** I swear you are high right now.

 **Kookie:** Shut up meatloaf.

 **Kookie:** Wait, do I normally have tap dancing llamas in my living room?

 **Ace:** ...No. No you do not.

 **Kookie:** Okay you might be right.

LWTF

 **Midnight:** Hey, where are you? You promised to help me with my patrol today, remember?

 **Rider:** ARGH! I'm so sorry! DX I'm on my way to a graveyard right now.

 **Midnight:** Wait, wait, why are you going to a graveyard?

 **Rider:** I met this really cute guy hanging out there earlier today, and I want to see if he's still there. I'm like 75% sure he's a vampire or a werwolf or something.

 **Rider:** If I'm lucky I might get a date!

 **Midnight:** Let me get this straight: you're trying snag a date with who you suspect is a supernatural creature with no real evidence other than the fact you met him at a graveyard?

 **Midnight:** Oh, and let's not forget the fact that we live in a world with powerful evil beings that are out to get us, so even if he does turn out to be something like that he will most likely try to kill you.

 **Rider:** Pretty much.

 **Midnight:** Sure, fine. But if you end up dead in a ditch, don't come crying to me.

 **Rider:** I won't, I'll just haunt you until I'm avenged.

 **Midnight:** Yeah, yeah. Have fun stalking after innocent emo teenagers.

LWTF

 **Zilla:** Don't you hate it when hotels run out of rooms and you have to share with your bros?

 **Litwick:** Tell me about it. It's quite annoying, isn't it?

 **Zilla:** Hell yeah. Remember that one time that happened to us?

 **Litwick:** Why of course I do.

 **Litwick:** *posh accent* Zillah darling, we looked like a queer couple.

LWTF

 **Night:** You're walking through the woods.

 **Thoron:** There's no one around and your phone is dead.

 **Litwick:** Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him.

 **Zilla:** _Shia LaBeouf._

 **Kookie:** He's following you, 'bout thirty feet back.

 **Midnight:** He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint.

 **Rider:** He's gaining on you!

 **Ace:** _Shia LaBeouf._

 **Lantern:** Running for you life from Shia LaBeouf.

 **3P:** He's brandishing a knife, it's Shia LaBeouf.

 **Dream:** Lurking in the shadoooows,

 **Phoenix:** HOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR SHIA LABEOUF!

 **Night:** This is not the direction I wanted this conversation to go in.

 **Phoenix:** Well where the hell did you think this was gonna go after quoting the Shia LaBeouf song?

 **Night:** I was just trying to do a sort of role play-type exercise, okay?! I didn't know that it was gonna turn into this! I didn't even realise I accidentally quoted that damn Shia LaBeouf song!

 **Phoenix:** YOU CANNOT ESCAPE FROM SHIA LABEOUF!

* * *

 **REVIEWS**

 **GodzillaMan1000: Daemon found that Text funny as well :D By the way Mage, TMI dude, TMI. No dreams like that for me dude, this tomboy's asexual!**

 **The Queen of Nope: Thanks you guys! Lovin' the support! :3 And Dream, please, don't speak of such vulgar things in my reviews- save that for the Texts! XP**

 **midnightsky0612: *sighs overdramatically* Really? Really?! But seriously, glad you enjoyed it :)**

 **theawesomest5: Hm, I never thought about that. I suppose it's possible. It would certainly explain how many of the more peaceful monsters had EXP and LOVE - especially without any sort of acknowledgement from other monsters, and no one thinking twice about it. I mean, Toriel and Asgore make sense, and even Undyne, but what about the other, younger, less violent monsters? I know what you mean about having intellectual debates and conversations. You should check out Tsuki the Wolf's Undertale stories, they're really good and actually bring up this point - we both theorised the same thing about Sans' EXP and LOVE.**

 **EverythinAndAnythinAndNothin: You're welcome! Here, have another one - although you did suggest this in the first place, so yeah :/**

 **MissNightmare: *dryly* You're welcome. I find myself quite amusing as well. Glad you appreciated my Texts though. Trust me: I get that.**

 **EAH Rebel: Now why would you do that? Laugh! LAUGH I SAY! MUAHAHAHAHA!**


End file.
